


Queer as folk: Alternate Universe

by VAmpireAcademy6



Category: Queer as Folk
Genre: Angst, Hurt-Comfort
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2010-09-04
Updated: 2010-09-28
Packaged: 2014-04-29 02:30:56
Rating: T
Chapters: 10
Words: 7,701
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6298979/1/
Author URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/2314865/VAmpireAcademy6
Summary: Because I don't know what to call this fic, this is what I'm going with.And because im not sure what to put as the genre, this is what im going with: hurt/comfort and angst. When you read this and have a better idea, let me know. Both title and genre.





	1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is a new story that popped into my head awhile ago, and won't get out of my head. I'm gonna stop with Life With the Twins for awhile. I will continue with it.**

Queer as Folk: Alternate Universe

Summary: Justin is 16 years old, and has been living on the streets for two weeks. He packed a bag, took some money he has saved up, and ran away from home. Brian is 26 years old, lives in his loft, owns Kinnetic already, and is not a total asshole. What happens when Brian finds Justin in an alley?

Justin Taylor, 16 years old, and on the streets. He couldn't believe he was still alive after all this time. It's been two weeks since he ran away from home. Being on the streets may not be the best thing in the world, but it was a hell of a lot better than being home. Being physically and sexually abused by his father, verbally abused by his mother since about 8 years old, has been hard, and he knew he had to get out of the house. When he took that first step out the door, he felt relieved and scared. He knew the world is cruel but it couldn't be worse than his so called home. Having run away, has felt like the best thing to Justin. Sleeping on the ground may not be the most comfortable, but at least he wasn't being assaulted by his father. Hiding was hard, and not being found or caught was tough, but he knew he was clever and sneaky and wouldn't get caught. But then again, he can always get caught.

_Two weeks ago_

_That first night was the hardest for Justin. Finding somewhere to sleep was tough. He took some food with him, so he was set for a couple days. He's been saving money since he was 6 years old, and never spent any of it. He kept the hidden money in his room where nobody would ever find it. So he took all that money with him, and knew he's be set to get food and water for awhile. Packed some clothes, his toothbrush/toothpaste, hair brush, and a couple blankets and a pillow. He didn't know how he was gonna wash anything, but he'd manage. _

_That first night was a relief for Justin, believe it or not. He was relieved his father wouldn't come into his room in the middle of the night and sexually abuse him. He was relieved in the next day his father wouldn't use him as a punching bag. He was relieved his mother wouldn't insult him. He was relieved to just be out of the house. _

_He walked to Liberty Avenue, somewhere he planned to go, and found an alley next to a tall building. He read the sign and he was on Tremont street. He turned into the alley and walked further, being cautious and careful of anything or anyone. He walked further and he saw a mattress. He thanked whoever he was thanking and walked over to it. _

Present Day

Justin walked into the Liberty Diner and was greeted with a hug from Debbie. Ever since he woke up that first morning two weeks ago, and walked around Liberty Avenue for awhile, he found the Liberty diner and has been going there ever since. "Hey Deb." Justin told her nervously.

"Hey Sunshine. How are you?"

"I'm fine."

"Your usual?" Justin nodded. She walked away to go put his order in and he sat in the far corner booth, like he has been doing for the last two weeks. When Debbie walked over to Justin, she noticed Justin was very pale and he was shaking and seemed a lot skinnier. All though he was wearing a black sweatshirt and gray sweatpants, he seemed skinnier. "Are you sure your okay?" She asked as she sat down and put her hand on top of his. He pulled his hand away.

"I'm fine."

"You know you can talk to me about anything."

"I know Deb."

After eating, he told Debbie he was going back "home." What she didn't know was he wasn't going home. He was going back to the alley.

* * *

Brian Kinney, 26 years old, and very successful. For the past two weeks, he's been hearing strange noises coming from the alley next to his building. Every time he would walk past the alley, he would hear rustling or some kind of movement. He ignored it the first couple of nights, but since it kept happening at around the same time everyday/night, he was beginning to think it wasn't 'just the wind' or 'just a raccoon.' It's something more than that. He just didn't know what. At around the same time everyday/night, he would go into the alley with a kitchen knife. He would walk from one end of the alley to the other end a couple times and never saw anything. Throughout the two weeks, starting from the fourth day, he asked his friends if they saw anything out of the ordinary at _all._ Every time he would ask his friends, they always said no. They would ask why and he would explain to them what's been going on. But, today was different. He got a call from Debbie, and she told him to meet her at the diner.

When he got there, Debbie took him to the back. "Deb, what's going on?"

"A couple minutes ago, Sunshine was just in here and he looked paler and skinnier. He was wearing a sweatshirt and sweatpants, and he's been wearing them for the past two weeks but they seemed bigger on him. I don't know what's going on, but it seems like this has something to do with whatever is going on in the alley next to your building."

"Wait, who's Sunshine?"

"His name is Justin Taylor. He only smiled once and it's like he lit up the whole damn diner. He's 16, blond hair, blue eyes. So, if you see him, be careful. He always seems nervous and jumpy. Keep checking out the alley."


	2. Chapter 2

Queer as Folk: Alternate Universe

It's been three days since Debbie had told Brian about Justin. He didn't know what to do. He wanted to find this kid and find out what's going on in the alley. It seemed like this kid's lifestyle was worse than his. It wouldn't want anyone to go through what he had to. It pissed him off and, believe it or not, it made him upset.

Laying on his bed, smoking a cigarette, he suddenly got an idea. _Why did I not think of this before?_ He asked himself. He went into the closet and pulled out three video camera's. He made sure There were tapes in them, the battery was charged, it could last _at least _24 hours, and it had night vision. After checking everything, he went into the alley, and walked so quiet you could hear a pin drop. He didn't see anything or anyone. He placed the three camera's at three different spots and angles so he would get the whole alley. The alley wasn't that long, but it was a couple meters wide.

He went back inside, and he knew it was gonna be a long night. He couldn't stop thinking of that kid and the alley.

* * *

After Justin left the diner that night, he went back to the alley, and fell right onto the mattress. He used his two of the four blankets he had and got under them. He was tossing and turning and felt like someone or something was watching him. He couldn't explain it, but it was a little creepy. He closed his eyes and tried getting some sleep. After an hour he looked at his watch. The mattress was uncomfortable, but at least he had a mattress to sleep on instead of the ground. He closed his eyes again, and relaxed his whole body. Within a couple minutes, he was asleep. What he didn't know was that Brian's cameras were watching him.

**A/N: I know it's short. The next one will be longer, I'm hoping.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: In this fic, it's October. Just thought I should let everyone know.**

Queer as Folk: Alternate Universe

The next morning, Brian woke up at 10 am. He decided to go check the alley and see if Justin was there. Whether he was or wasn't, he would get his video camera's back and look at the tapes. All though he didn't know Justin, he knew in his gut, he cared about this kid. He didn't know why, but it was most likely because it seems his childhood was worse than his. He never wanted another person to go through that.

After he got dressed, he went outside and he walked so quietly you couldn't even hear him into the alley. He didn't see Justin anywhere, so he was probably at the diner or walking around or maybe just hiding. He hoped he wasn't hiding. Then he would know someone was watching him.

After getting the camera's, he went back up to his loft. He plugged in one of the camera's and after a screen popped up, that showed him what happened last night, he waited for it to fully load. He fast forwarded and didn't see anything on that tape. He unplugged that camera and plugged in the next one. As he was fast forwarding, half way through, he saw someone pass by the camera. He paused and rewound. He stared at the person trying to figure out who it was. He played for couple more seconds and after he saw the person turn their head, he paused it again. He looked like the description Deb has told him. It looked like he had blond hair, sweatpants and sweatshirt that looked black and gray, and looked 16. He had a sinking feeling in his stomach.

He fast forwarded through the rest of the tape. He plugged in the last camera. What he saw, made him want to cry, and made him pissed off. The camera was pointed toward the mattress, that he put out there 3 months ago. He saw Justin laying on it. He saw the duffel bag next to the mattress. It looked like the blankets were really dirty, and the mattress probably was by now. He had never run away from home when he was younger, so for this kid to run, his childhood must be worse. Brian knew he needed to do something. First, he was gonna tell Debbie. Second, he was gonna get the kid and help him in anyway. Third, he would protect the kid. And Fourth, he would get the kid to tell him about what happened in his home. Brian knew he should have talked about what was going on in his home. It would have relieved so much stress. And being 16 years old, he shouldn't need to be stressed. He didn't want to wait to get this kid out of that alley in into his loft. He had to get to the diner NOW!

After taking the third camera and laptop, he raced to the diner. He just had to show Debbie. After getting to the diner, he parked and went inside. He saw Debbie behind the counter doing whatever, but didn't see anybody who looked like the kid on the tape. He went over to the counter. "I need to talk to you. _Now._" Brian told her. She turned around and looked at him.

"Is everything okay?"

"No. Everything is _not_ okay. I need to talk to you privately. Right _now._" Debbie took him to the back. He set his laptop on the desk they had there, plugged in his camera and hit play. "Look at this." Debbie looked at the screen and couldn't believe it. She was shocked, upset, pissed, and -for once- speechless. She didn't know what say.

"I can't believe. That's...that's Sunshine."

"I bet he's been there for these past two weeks. Where is he anyway?"

"In the bathroom. I think he's sitting back in the booth by now. I have to talk to him."

"No, Deb. I know kind of how he's feeling. Obviously his life is worse than mine at home, so I know what he's going through. I should talk to him."

"All right." They left the back and when they came into the front of the diner, Justin turned to looked at them. He saw Debbie hug this man, then sit down across from him. Justin looked at him. "It's okay. I just want to talk to you." Justin looked over at Debbie, and she nodded and smiled. He looked back at Brian. "I'm Brian Kinney."

"Justin."

"Just one name?" Brian joked.

"No." Justin answered shyly. _For someone who had the confidence to run away from home, doesn't seem like he's confident now._ Brian thought.

"What's your last name?"  
"Taylor." He answered quietly.

"Justin Taylor. Nice name. I like it."

"You do?"

"Yeah. You don't look bad either."

"Uh, Thanks."

"Shouldn't you be at school?"

"I don't have school today."

"Then you should be home then."

"I just wanted to walk around a little bit, and then I decided to get something to eat."

"You could just eat at home instead of spending money to eat here." _Does he know something? What should I do? Should I just tell him the truth? It seems like that's the only thing to do. But he knows Debbie. He's gonna tell her. I'll just tell him anyway._ Justin thought. He had all the thoughts running through his mind, not completely sure to still tell Brian. He only met him 5 minutes ago. "Justin?"

"Huh?"

"Where'd you just go?"

"Just thinking. I seem to do that a lot."

"I used to think a lot too when I was your age and younger. I would think about...stuff at home...My childhood took a turn for worst when I turned 8 years old. My so-called father would...he would beat me. My, um, so-called mother would tell me...she never wanted me."

"I don't mean to sound rude or anything but why are you telling me this? I mean, we just met."

"Because I want you to know that you can talk to me. You may have heard the I'm the 'stud of Liberty Avenue' and I'm an all around asshole. But I can be nice when I want to." Brian smiled at him. _He definitely knows something._ Justin thought.

"You know don't you? About me and what happened two weeks ago."

"I don't know everything completely. A couple days ago Debbie told me for the past two weeks you have been wearing that same sweatshirt and same sweatpants and they looked bigger on you and you look paler. And for those same two weeks, I kept hearing sounds coming from the alley next to my building. So last night I hid three cameras and saw you." Justin wouldn't say anything. He absorbed the information Brian just told him. "Please don't be mad. Debbie was worried about you and so was I." Brian just realized what he just confessed. _Oh well. Too late now._ Brian thought.

**A/N: This chapter was hard to write, so be very gentle.**


	4. Chapter 4

Queer as Folk:Alternate Universe

Justin stared Brian. _He was worried about me? Why was he worried about me? He doesn't even know me._ Justin thought. "I don't want to sound mean, but why are you worried about me? I mean, you don't even know me."

"Because I've never wanted anyone else to go through what I had to and it seems like you went through something worse than what I did." Brian couldn't believe he was telling this kid what he went through. He didn't even know him, he's just a kid, and Michael didn't even know some of the things he was telling this kid.

"I should go." Justin told him, starting to get up. Brian grabbed his arm to stop him.

"You don't have anywhere to go, and I was hoping we could talk some more."

"Well now that Deb knows, she's gonna make me stay with her. I've only known her for two weeks and I know so much about her." Justin decided to sit down.

"She _is _quite the chatter-box. Anyway, you don't have to to stay with her. You could live with someone else. Someone you'd feel more comfortable with."

"Like who? I don't have any family, I don't have any friends. I have nowhere else to go."

"Well, I was thinking that maybe you could live with me."

"What? I couldn't. I wouldn't want to be in the way or a burden. If you feel like you have to for Deb, then don't."

"You're not gonna be in the way and you're not a burden. I _want_ to do this. I just thought that because we're both guys, you'd be more comfortable."

"I...I don't know. If I have a place to live, that won't matter much."

"What do you mean?"

"I won't have any family or friends and I won't be able to go to school."

"Knowing me and Deb, you'll soon meet our friends and we're more like a family. And what do you mean you won't be able to go to school?"

"I go to St. James, which is a private school, so you have to pay. My parents stopped paying for it a month ago."

"You could get a job and me, Deb, and our family could help you out."

"I can't let you do that. Just letting me live with you is enough."

"It's okay, really."

"I don't know. We just met and it'd feel kinda weird. Living with you and letting you pay for school is a little weird."

"Knowing me, I aways get what I want. Just ask my family." Brian had to laugh at that, but it was true. "Look, I know you may not trust me, but I figured you'd be more comfortable living with me than Deb. I know you trust Deb, so you could ask her if it's okay to trust me, which, by the way, it is."

"I...guess it'd be...okay."

"Good. How about we have some brunch, then go back to my loft."

"It's okay. I can't really afford to buy food for every meal everyday."

"It's okay. I got it."

"You don't have to..."

"I want to. You look like you haven't eaten in awhile."

* * *

After Brian insisted on buying almost everything on the menu for Justin to eat, and forcing Justin to eat everything, they went back to the loft. Brian knew Justin left his duffel back in the alley, so they got his stuff, and went into the loft. Brian put Justin's blankets and clothes into the laundry basket. "Go take a shower and then nap." Brian told Justin. It wasn't a suggestion; it was an order. Justin decided not to protest, so he just nodded and went into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. While Justin took a shower, Brian went over to his closet and got out an old pair of sweatpants and an old t-shirt out. He went into the bathroom quietly, so he wouldn't scare Justin. When he set the clothes down on the counter, he looked at Justin, and saw the bruises ad gashes on his body. When Justin turned, he saw more gashes and bruises. He was so thin and pale. _Too_ thin.

After leaving the bathroom, he went on the Internet and searched if there were certain diets for people who barely ate. So, kind of like anorexic people. He didn't really find anything, but maybe just have him eat more sugary foods, then when he gets to a healthy weight, he can cut back on the sugary foods. So Brian made a mental list of what kind of food he should get from the store.

**A/N: This chapter felt like it was harder than the last one, so please be gentler. (if that's not a word, it is now. Lol) It seems these chapters become more and more harder with the next one, so please be gentle. I'm trying really hard and I'm going through a ton of shit right now. And I'm trying to post these chapters up as fast as I can. :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thank you for all the alerts and reviews. It keeps me writing.**

Queer as folk: Alternate Universe

It's been about a month since Justin moved in with Brian. Justin has gotten more comfortable and more confident. But just a little. Brian didn't want to, but he ended up asking Justin about the bruises and gashes on his body. Brian explained how he found out. Surprisingly, Justin didn't get pissed and stomp off. He just told Brian what happened. Brian knew _exactly_ how he felt. Brian hugged him, which surprised both of them.

Justin also met Brian's 'family.' He was nervous, but Brian told him that he called them and told them that he was really shy. Justin nodded, but was still really nervous. Which wasn't necessary because it wasn't that bad. He also met Gus, Brian's son (obviously, lol), who was 8 months old. Gus took to him right away. Seeing the 8 month old laugh and smile, brought joy to Justin. It brought joy to Brian seeing his son and Justin having a good time.

* * *

It was a Wednesday night when Brian, who was sitting at the computer, said to Justin, "We should go out tomorrow." Justin sat up, from laying on the couch and looked at Brian.

"Out where?"

"Outside. Take a walk. You know, so you can get comfortable with crowds again." Justin tensed, which didn't go unnoticed by Brian.

"You're gonna have to go out in crowds sometime. Don't worry. I'll be there with you." Brian smiled at Justin. Justin gave him a slight smile, then laid back down.

* * *

After Brian got home from work, around 3pm, he took Justin outside. They stood right outside the door. Justin clung to Brian, gripping Brian's shirt really tight. All though they weren't together or a couple, they both felt that it was right. It felt right to be against each other. It felt right to just be together. Brian couldn't help, but wrap his arms around Justin protectively. "It's okay Justin. Come on." As they started walking, Justin clung to Brian tightly. As time passed, Justin got a little more comfortable and loosened his grip on Brian, but still clung to him. "You're doing good Justin. But do you want to head back?"

"No. I'm fine."

"You sure?"

"Yeah." As they continued walking, Justin got more comfortable, and was walking next to Brian, no longer clinging to him, but walking close to him their shoulders were touching. Justin was getting a little tired, so they headed back. Justin napped, and Brian watched him, brushing blond hair out of his eyes. _God, he's beautiful._ Brian thought. He couldn't believe that one person especially a 16 year old boy could change him over night.

**A/N: As I suspected, this chapter was harder than the last, so be gentle. Thanks.**


	6. Chapter 6

Queer as Folk: Alternate Universe

By Saturday, Justin was more comfortable with Brian and going out in public. At times, he still had insecurities and was doubtful, but he managed. He let Brian sleep in the bed with him. Brian _insisted_ that Justin sleep in the bed, from that first night Justin was there. Brian slept on the couch. Justin felt a little weird about it, but as time went on, it felt less weird. The first night with Brian in the bed, Justin was nervous. He didn't know why, but he was nervous.

* * *

On Saturday, Brian went to the store to get a bunch of food Justin could eat. He was surprised at how much he actually got. He decided it was good to get all this food for Justin. It will get Justin up to a healthy weight.

* * *

By Monday, Justin gained 3 pounds. Brian was happy about that but didn't let anyone know. He knew he cared for Justin, but didn't know exactly _how much_ he cared. He knew he cared because 1.) he stopped most of his tricking, and when he did trick all he saw was Justin, 2.) he was happy Justin was gaining weight and 3.) just being concerned for him when he found out he was sleeping in that alley. He decided it's be best to just let these emotions happen and not fight it. But, he couldn't help but fight _a little._ After all, he _did_ grow up in an abusive home with no love and no care. But, he had to try to believe that maybe there _is _something called 'love' and 'caring'. He would just have to try.

**A/N: Okay, I know this is _really_ short, but I decided to post a chapter. School keeps getting in the way of my writing fanfics. I'll try to update when I can.**


	7. Chapter 7

Queer as Folk: Alternate Universe

**Monday**

**Justin's POV**

I have always felt uncomfortable in my own skin and had low self esteem. My parents only made things worse and after leaving, it made it even more worse. Ever since Brian told he video taped me (not intentionally) my self confidence and self esteem went downhill. I don't even think that's possible. Now that I'm living with Brian, and have been for about a month and a half, I've gotten more comfortable, but the feelings always lingered in my gut. I just couldn't seem to get rid of the feelings. And I've decided, I've had enough. I was gonna do something about.

I decided to go up to the roof of the building to think. It's become a habit over the last few days. I opened one of the windows, went out onto the narrow balcony and climbed up the ladder that's hanging on the wall. (A/N: I don't think that is what's really there, but I decided to at it for this part.) When I got on the roof. I sat down on the chair I took up a couple days ago, and closed my eyes, just thinking. Trying to clear my head and get rid of the nasty feelings I have been feeling almost all my life. They just would _not _go away. It was fucking pissing me off! I opened my eyes and looked around. My eyes landed on the edge of the roof.

**

* * *

Brian's POV**

I didn't feel comfortable leaving Justin alone, but I had no choice. He barely knew the gang, so I couldn't ask any of them to keep Justin company. Plus, I couldn't miss work. I knew I was gonna have to leave him alone, but I had an uneasy feeling for some reason. Maybe it was because of leaving Justin at home for the first time. Or maybe it was because something terrible was gonna happen. I didn't know, but I _really_ hoped it was because Justin was on his own for the first time. I decided to leave early, to check on Justin and make sure he was alright. I told Cynthia I was leaving early, then ran out of the office. I didn't even let Cynthia ask questions. I didn't have the time right now.

When I got to the loft, I saw that the window was open. I decided to up to the roof to see why the window was open. I figured Justin was up on the roof, but I didn't know if he was or if he just left the window open. I didn't see him anywhere else in the loft from where I stood, and the bathroom door was open and the light was off, so I didn't need to check. I scanned the loft really quickly and didn't see Justin. I went out onto the balcony and climbed the ladder. I didn't care about my expensive suit getting dirty or ruined. Did I just say that? All I cared about was making sure Justin was safe and unhurt. It felt like the ladder was longer than it really was. I finally got up to the roof and what I saw, shocked me. I couldn't believe my eyes. What is he doing? What is he gonna do? Why is he doing this? These questions and more ran through my mind as I stared at Justin.

**

* * *

A/N: I know this is _really_ short like the last one, but I want to end it here. I bet you're on the edge of your seat, waiting to see what happens/ is happening and what Justin is doing. Let me know what you think Brian is seeing what Justin is doing in a comment. At least 5 comments for the next chapter. NO LESS! You want the next chapter, then review. The 5 reviews must be from 5 different people. Mwahahahahaha! I'm so evil! :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: All though I don't have all 5 reviews, I'll post this chapter. **

Queer as Folk: Alternate Universe

When Brian got to the roof of his building, he couldn't believe what he saw. He was so shocked. Justin was standing on the wide ledge, inching closer to the edge. He stood there because he was so shocked then started running towards Justin. "Justin!" Brian yelled. Justin turned and saw Brian running toward him. "What are you doing?" Brian asked, when he got to Justin.

"What the fuck does it look like?" Justin didn't know why, but he was pissed off.

"Calm down and get down from there."

"What's the point? I'll still feel the way I'm feeling. And they'll never go away!"

"Justin, please, get down from there. You can talk to me." Brian practically begged Justin. Justin didn't listen. He inched closer to the edge. Brian grabbed his hand. "Please Justin." Justin decided to look at Brian. Brian looked up at him with pleading eyes. (A/N: I know it's not like Brian, but that's the way I'm writing him...deal with it.) Justin turned all the way around. All of a sudden, Justin broke down crying and collapsed. Brian helped him off the edge, and hugged Justin. Justin hung on to Brian like his life depended on it. Brian rubbed his back, trying to get him to calm down. 15 minutes went by when Justin was calmed down. Brian and Justin went inside. After Brian closed the window, he went over to Justin, who hugged his knees to his chest, sitting on the couch. "Justin, talk to me." Justin just sat there, continuing hugging his knees to his chest. "Justin. Please. I want to help you. But I can't unless you tell me what's going on."

"Why?" Justin asked, quietly.

"Because I... I care about you damn it!" Brian didn't know where this anger came from. He took a deep breath, to calm down. "I told you when we first met that I care about you. Can you please just talk to me?" Justin sighed. _I might as well. He's never gonna give up._ Justin thought.

"I just...I always felt uncomfortable...in my own skin." Justin started. Brian put his arm around Justin's shoulders. "And...low self esteem. Those feelings just never went away." Justin was crying by now. "I wanted those feelings to go away."

"By killing yourself? Justin, if you want those feelings to go away, talk about it. I'm not the one to be giving advice about expressing emotions because I've never done that. I wish I had. It would have saved so much stress and grief. You can always talk to me. Okay?" Justin nodded. "How about you go take a shower and then we'll go out to dinner?"

"You want to come with me?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Like you said, we're both guys. You have what I have." Justin smiled at Brian and he smiled back.

"All right. Then let's get a shower."

After showering, and getting dressed, Brian and Justin went to the diner. "Justin, you need to eat more. You're way to skinny." Brian told Justin as Brian drove to the diner. "You can practically see your ribs.. That's not good."

"Okay Brian, I get it. You would look like this too if you have barely eaten for two weeks."

"But seriously, you need to eat more."

"Brian, I'm eating the shit load of food you brought to the loft and I've only gained like 3 pounds. I should have gained more than that."

"You'll just have to keep eating the shit load of food I bring home then."

**A/N: I know these chapters are short. I'm trying my best at writing and making these chapters longer.**


	9. Chapter 9

Queer as Folk: Alternate Universe

Brian couldn't believe he was actually driving to the GLC center for therapy. He has never liked therapy or therapists. He's always hated them. But, he knew this was for Justin. _You have to do it for Justin. It's what's best for Justin. Justin. Justin._ He kept repeating the same thing over and over in his mind. It was just yesterday Justin had tried to kill himself. And after they came back from the diner, Brian told Justin about how he thought he should go to therapy. Of course, Justin didn't want to go and after arguing for about five minutes, they cooled down, then talked about it trying to be as calm as they could. Justin finally decided to go.

After they arrived, Brian went in with Justin. Before Justin went back with the therapists to the room, Brian hugged him and whispered in his ear, "I'll be here when you're done. Everything will get better." He didn't want to say 'everything will be okay' because he didn't know if it was ever gonna be okay but he knew everything was gonna get better. Hell, some of it already has.

"You promise?" Justin asked, while they still hugged.

"I promise. I have to go to work first, but I'll be here. Don't worry." After they stopped hugging, Brian wanted to desperately kiss him, but held back. After Justin went back, Brian left for work. He thought about Justin. He admitted -only to himself- he wanted a relationship with Justin. An _actual relationship!_ He couldn't believe it. This kid has changed his life from that first moment he was worried something was going on in the alley next to the building. It was hard to believe, but it happened.

* * *

He left work an hour and a half later, and went pick up Justin. When he got there, he didn't see Justin so he sat down and waited. A couple minutes later, Justin came out with the therapist behind him. Brian stood up and noticed Justin had red, puffy eyes. It was obvious he had been crying. "Hey." Brian said as he hugged Justin.

"Hey." After they broke apart, Brian rubbed Justin's biceps. He hated thinking of Justin in pain. Emotional, physical, mental, any kind of pain.

"You okay?"

"Yeah,"

"Come on. I have to get back to work, but if you want, you can come with me. You could sketch."

"I don't have me sketch pad." Justin wanted to go with Brian. Spend time with him.

"That's okay. I picked it up on my way over here."

"Okay." After getting to Kinnetic, Brian sat at his desk, doing some work, while Justin sat on the couch sketching, with the sketch pad resting on his knees. When he sketched, he felt...free. It's like all his worries dissapear along with his fears. Brian looked over at Justin occasionally and could see that he was relaxed.

* * *

Brian knew he was working late tonight, so he offered to take Justin home early, but refused. He fell asleep on the couch, in Brian's office, by 8pm. He knew he was leaving till ten and not get back to the loft till 10:30pm. He didn't know if he should either, wake up Justin, carry him out to the car, or just let him sleep here and sleep with him. He decided it's be best to take Justin home. But should he wake him or carry him? He couldn't decided. He thought about it for awhile, but decided to wake Justin up. That way, he'd be tired enough to not wake up in the middle of the night. He went over to Justin, and kneeled next to him. "Justin. Justin wake up."

"Huh?"

"Come on Justin. Time to go home." Justin's eyes fluttered open. "Good morning sunshine." Justin smiled tiredly at Brian.

When Brian started the car, he asked Justin about his therapy session. He knew when Justin was tired, he'll answer anything truthfully. "Did you cry in therapy?" Brian asked.

"Yes," Justin answered, who had his eyes closed and had his head leaning against the window.

"Why?"

"Because of what we talked about."

"What did you talk about?"

"Why I tried to do what I did, how I feel about it, and the other feelings I have."

"What other feelings. What I told you after I almost jumped and how I felt about you."

"Me? How do you feel about me?"

"I think I love you." Brian was shocked. Did he hear right? The boy loves him?

"What did you say?"

"I think I love you." Brian couldn't help but smile. He tried not to, but it just seemed impossible at the moment. All though Brian couldn't say it back, what he did was grab Justin's hand. He was happy. And he couldn't believe what he was feeling for the boy. After his child hood and how he acted for so long, he couldn't believe what this boy did to him. Not necessarily in a bad way.

**A/N: This was a hard chapter so be gently when reviewing. I'll try to get the next chapter up ASAP. BTW, later on in the fic, it will end up to be an mpreg. BUT, who will it be. Brian, Justin, Michael, Ben, even Hunter? Just watch. And, yes, I AM obsessed with mpreg. I admit it. Don't review/message/email/whatever me about it. Don't bother waisting your time. :)**


	10. Chapter 10

Queer as folk: Alternate Universe

It's been two weeks since that first therapy session. Justin has been going to therapy three times a week. It's been helping, plus talking to Brian. He's been gaining more weight, and Brian found out why Justin hasn't been gaining the weight he should have.

_**

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**_

After third therapy session

_**Saturday**_

_Brian was looking through his drawers for a pair of socks when he felt something in the back. He pulled the drawer fully out and saw a bunch of food. The food that he brought home for Justin to eat. 'That's why he hasn't been gaining weight. He's been hiding all this fucking food!' Justin was in the shower so he couldn't hear Brian. Brian got all the food boxes and put them on the bed. He put the drawer back, got a pair of socks out and closed it. He took all the food and set it on the counter, in a pile. He counted the boxes and there were 12 boxes of food. There were 2 boxes of cookies, 2 boxes of crackers, 1 box of donuts, 3 boxes of sugary cereal, and the rest was cereal bars. _(A/N: I just picked random foods so don't comment on it.) _He couldn't believe it. _

_When Justin came out of the shower, he walked into the kitchen and saw Brian sitting at the counter. He walked over to him. "Hey."_

"_Hi." Brian sounded a little pissed off and annoyed._

"_Is something wrong?" Justin hadn't noticed the boxes of food._

"_Yeah. There is."_

"_What is it?"_

"_You already know."_

"_I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Just tell me."_

"_You hiding these fucking food boxes. That's what." Justin stomach sank. 'Damn it! How'd he find them?' "I can't believe you would hide food and pretend to be eating the food."_

"_I'm sorry okay. I just...I still felt really self conscious and that I would be gaining too much weight."_

"_Justin, you should have talked to me."_

"_I know. I'm sorry. I just couldn't."_

"_You'll eat the food now. Right?" It wasn't a question, it was more of a command. _

"_Yeah." He said it more as a question._

"_You will."_

"_Okay."_

* * *

Brian was laying in bed, thinking about that night and when Justin said he loved him. That's all he thought about. _This kid loves me? If he could love, then I could, right? Right? He's had a way more horrible childhood and yet, he can love. I'm just gonna have to try. But I can't say it yet. This sounds really silly, even to me, but I'm just gonna have to practice. That's all I can do at the moment._ Justin came back to the bedroom, from the couch where he was sketching. "Brian?" He asked when he saw Brian.

"Huh?" Brian asked, coming out of his thoughts.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I was just thinking. What were you sketching."

"Nothing...It's nothing." Justin was sort of stuttering and got all shy and nervous.

"Can I see?"

"No, that's okay."

"Let me see."

"Um..no."

"Come on. Just let me see it. It can't be that bad." Justin sighed. He knew he wasn't gonna win this. He handed over his sketch pad to Brian. He felt nervous and had butterflies in his stomach. Brian looked through all the pages. There were pages that weren't attached in the sketch pad. "These are very good," Brian said still flipping through the pages. They were all sketches of him alone and him with Justin. Half the sketches were of Brian alone in many different poses with different expressions and the other half of the sketches were of him and Justin. It obviously came from Justin's mind. Some of them together were of them, naked in bed; cuddling, making love, etc, and the others were that happened and some were what partly what happened and partly fantasy. After Brian was done looking at all of the sketches, he looked at Justin and told him, "These are very good. Why did you try and hide them?"

"I was...afraid."

"Afraid of what?"

"Afraid...that you don't feel the same. I-I still do and that you would think its disgusting and that you wouldn't want me here anymore." Justin was looking the other way and crying by now.

"Justin, look at me." At first Justin was hesitant, but looked at Brian. "I could never think that. From just knowing you a couple months, I feel like I've known you my whole life." _I sound so lesbionic right now, and the surprising part is, I don't care at all,_ Brian thought.

"Really?"

"Yes. I've told you all about me."

"You did, and I never understood why until now." Brian and Justin were both sitting on the bed, facing each other, their knees touching. Brian put his hand on the side of Justin's neck. They both wanted it. They wanted to kiss each other so fucking bad and make love/fuck. But, Justin just couldn't. He wanted to so bad, but he just couldn't. He pulled back. "What's wrong?" Brian asked concerned.

"Nothing."

"Don't bullshit me Justin. Tell me what's wrong."

"It's just... as you know, my father would sexually abuse me and I feel like I can't kiss. You probably think it's stupid." Justin started to get up, but Brian pulled him back.

"I don't think it's stupid. I understand why you're feeling what you're feeling. I don't want to push you, but I think you need to try. You could keeps your eyes open when we kiss, or close them, but think about me and how _I'm_ the one kissing you. You think you could try?"

"I guess." Brian put his hand back on the side of Justin's neck.

**

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**

A/N: I know I haven't written in a long time. I've been busy with school work and other issues. I know some of it seems random. My hands don't listen to my mind when I type and it comes out different than what's in my mind.


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